Mini-Windfall

In the fall of this year, 2010, I experienced what for me was a windfall in my work volume and subsequent earnings. God brought me a new client in the summer of this year and by fall they had decided to add 12 new sales reps. Well, in almost 13 yrs of recruiting, this was the first time I had been blessed with this kind of concentrated up-tick in my business. I had already had a decent year but this expansion project launched me into the most success I have ever had in recruiting. Over the next 3 months, I successfully filled all 12 of these positions. This business bolus, direct from the hand of Father, generated a nice sum of money and I ended up in very unfamiliar territory.

Mini-windfall is a good name for this....it was most likely a one time thing (although I am wide open for more of the same) . Theoretically it could happen again with either this client or a new one. Still, with a 12+ year history in recruiting, I suspect this was most likely more of a windfall than evidence that I had somehow turned a new corner into a permanent level of increased business.

So how many times had I wondered and dreamed of having an extra lump of money come to me? Perhaps with a bit of flippancy, from time to time I would hear myself telling God that he had trusted me with little, how about giving plenty a go. True confession: maybe about 5 or 6 times a year I buy a lottery ticket. I call it my $1 ticket to dream about what I would do if I won. (I do better with such dreams when I actually have some skin in the game, with about as much chance of winning as I do of being bitten by a shark while simultaneously being struck by lightning). I view this as a harmless stimulus to practice something I am not at all skilled at......dreaming. Nevertheless, it has been good to occasionally pretend and imagine how I would manage a Jabez jackpot.

Like you,(assuming anyone reads this), I have read the accounts of big time winners who ultimately reported that they did not experience the level of positive changes they had anticipated. There are ample reports and testimonies of winners inheriting a whole new batch of problems to replace the ones that having lots more money solved. There are also the guys who reportedly go through their winnings in record time, with foolish purchases and bad investments gobbling up amazing amounts of money.

Mind you, my windfall is definitely spelled with a small w.... Mini -windfall is more accurate. I did not win the lottery. My "winnings" amount to a bit less than an entire year's income. Regardless, compared to anything else I have experienced it is still an ample sum. So what all have I learned, observed, experienced....? Well, it seems like everything I have observed has been previously reported by people who have gone down this road before me. In other words, I have not been so unique or different from others I have read about. My shared human DNA has produced thoughts and behaviors that are just not that atypical....(alas, I wanted to be so different, so much further above the fray).

Right away I went out and bought something....I hear that a lot from winners of big money. At least it was not a frivolous man toy. With my junior money I was confident enough to get four replacement windows purchased and installed for the 2nd floor. There went $6k (I was totally taken, didn't do enough comparison shopping). Also, I had been saving for a vacation with Sandi to coincide with our 10th anniversary. Now, with mini-windfall money headed in my direction, I upgraded the plans from the North Shore of MN to Mexico. Of course after funding these two items I started to see the mini-windfall balance begin to diminish. I suddenly realized that after taxes and tithes it was not really going to be as much as I had originally thought, it's buying power not as robust as hoped for and just how much of it could really be considered surplus could not be immediately determined.

So in response to these revelations, I have now locked down the consumer button on the control panel of life. Yep, for now I'm done pushing it in a Skinnerian frenzy lest it suck these new found cash resources dry. Since this expansion project ended at the end of October, new business opportunities have been in pretty short supply, and my projects are just not closing the way I would like to see it happening. In other words, the rhythm of my business has returned to its' normal beat. So for the windfall money that has yet to be spent or committed, I have decided to direct it into a holding corral. The new year is right around the corner and what kind of year 2011 is going to be is most uncertain. So bully for me, I am being boringly conservative and choosing not to spend all the windfall . Nope, the remaining money will be put aside to act as a pool to either supplement or replace any income shortfall should 2011 turn out to be a dud.

Pretty boring huh? Somehow my approach just doesn't have the flair and chutzpah of just getting it and spending it and trusting that 2011 will take care of itself. Sorry, there has been too many years in this 100% commission job that have brought periods (sometimes long periods) of too little cash flow, too many financial concerns and all the pressure that goes along with such underfunding. As the remaining windfall money comes in, the prudent thing to do is to set it aside. As 2011 goes along I will be monitoring the ebb and flow of projects and not until then will I know whether this mini-windfall money is indeed extra or was it just an advance payment on money that will be needed in the coming year.

The biggest ache I found in the midst of this was experiencing a strong desire to have this increase in cash become my new normal. How incredible it would be to never have to concern myself about money again. Face it, when this happened and my work was successful, there was an immense relieving of all financial pressures...at least in the short run. My soul yearned for this new found state to be permanent rather than transitory. As I let my focus shift to this desire it entirely obliterated the blessing in the now that had come to me. I was too busy lamenting on how if only this could become a more permanent type of financial change...one that would sort of stay and make itself at home. Gosh, how very carnal and disappointing of me. Spiritually, I regularly declare my allegiance and dependence on God. In His grace and mercy He showers me with a momentary dollar downpour. And what do I do? Well, regrettably, rather than bask in the grace of it all I morph into wanting, even whining, about having this become a permanent fixture of how we roll from this point forward.

So what were the 'take-aways' from this. That my old man is still very desirous of having positive, visible circumstances to depend on (ie.,cash) rather than relying merely on faith in an invisible provider. That money itself is not the panacea that I am often tempted to think that it may be. That I am really not a spender....it makes me more nervous than happy. That when faced with a financial blessing my mind gravitates way too easily from thanksgiving to having the desire to make it a permanent addition to my life. That alas, I do seem to grow better within moderate levels of adversity and pressure than I do in the absence of either.

Whether this mini-windfall proves to be a a financial overage or merely advanced payment of 2011 money in 2010 remains to be seen. Regardless, I am ever so blessed by this gift of Jesus. Thank you Father. Thus concludes this time of briefly sifting through the coals of one particular fire in the long series of fires that together comprise this journey called life. Santiago, thanks for writing about this....it helped clarify a few things.