2009

It's that time again...when there is a sort of pause in the action as one just-completed year passes and a "brand new shiny one" (as Di would say) presents itself. Sitting here, wondering about my posture towards all this. After some 60+ years of sojourning this orb I have taken a range of positions...from blase' disregard of any particular new projects or directions to all out efforts to change things up and take a new lease on life.

For 2009, there are several things I'm aware of that are worthy of being intentional about. Probably foremost is my sincere desire to walk in more joy and abandonment. My many years of walking as a believer have not been ones where peace, joy and contentment would be the most accurate descriptors . I so want to emulate/appropriate Paul's testimony of being content in all circumstances. Really tired of experiencing life in a conditional mode....good things happening, ducks lining up nicely = I get to be joyful. Lousy things going on, insufficiencys, broken stuff and people = I don't get to be joyful. Want to break out of this formula....set this prisoner free Father.

Another thing is a felt need to change my attitude about the marathon of life. I believe it is indeed not a sprint but must be approached as a marathon, complete with pacing, needing endurance and requiring an intentional focus. Too much of my thinking/outlook has been circling around the feeling like I'm somewhere after mile 24 and really yearning for the finish line. Guessing that I need to do some recalibration and an internal reset appropriate for my true place in the race that is most likely more like mile 19 or 20. (Of course, this is where the "wall" can nastily show up....). Gird up those loins Hoppy, there's more to be done.

There's work stuff that is screaming for me to either get more thoroughly in or get the heck out. There's life realities that prevent any sort of "getting out". There's too much lingering resentment being offered to me as a fruit to eat and I have eaten it too much and too often. That agreement has got to go! On one hand, the natural energies have noticeably ebbed. On the other hand, the requirements of living well in the remaining days seem to have ramped up in difficulty. So, if doing life isn't getting any easier coupled with depleted levels of what I am calling natural juices, it seems the need to be intentional, to avoid the default settings has got to be my strategy.

Intentional is just a good word for me right now. Really doesn't come that easy for the recovering hedonist in me. Would love to roll more on cruise control. Sorry Santiago, that dog won't hunt.

So all this blabbering to say this: James, I'm calling you up and out. Your time to rest will come but not yet bro, not yet. Purpose and determination might sound exhausting but they are the shoes you need to be shod with. And an attitude of gratitude is yours to be had as you practice His presence. After all, the Lord is near. It's not as though there are no reasons to rejoice. So get your head back in the game, don't look for the easy ways out, expect the effort that is required and take in the sights and mini-vacations that may be offered along the way. And don't forget, this world is not your home, but there is a real beauty that is reported to have been prepared with my name on it....but not yet, not yet.