Thursday, February 4, 2021

Where are you Santiago?

 

 The how, what, when, why

The now of where you are found

Oh sweet enigma


Those chance meetings between two people who haven't seen or talked to one another for some time...we have all experienced such times. There comes the social awkwardness of answering the "so whats been going on?, what have you been up to?". Often, neither party is absolutely convinced of the other's interest in a true, detailed answer and/or one or both really have nothing of any obvious value to share. I picture such an interchange involving myself where I answer quite breezily, "Oh you know, same ol - same ol. Just dodging covid, social distancing, watching way too much streaming and oh yeah, more intentionally pursuing union with God. How bout yourself Burt?"

I'm sure if I took the time to review some of my last posts, I would find mention of 'deeper intimacy with God' or 'union with God' as a target of my focus. And boom, there would be some of the answer to how I got to where I find myself in this fresh new year of 2021. I sit here feeling blessed by what Jesus seems to be ushering me into but also feeling deeply humbled. Humbled by the reading and studying that was birthed by a yearning in my heart for the more that I know there is in Jesus for each of us. Humbled, because as I am seeing and now more deeply understanding, there is the stark reality that  going deeper, shrinking the gap between the Trinity and myself, requires profoundly less of me to make room for the more of Him I hear myself professing.

The juncture of the branch into the vine I have sitting on my desk is a physical reminder of what draws me. Of what draws me to the mystery of the juncture of the two parts, where the branch loses it distinctness at the merger point with the vine. Where the two entities have lost their unique, separate identities and have become one. That picture, that marriage of two becoming one represented in this vine, which Father pointed out on a walk last summer, has fostered a distinct focus in my walk with God.

As I sought to look into the possibilities of deeper union with Christ, I found myself drawn into the writing of some of the classic Christian mystics. Why? Because I have a taste for mysticism? No, not really. I simply have wanted to hear more from some of my fellow Kingdom brothers and sisters who have pursued a deeper, more intimate daily walk with God. Lo and behold, the category of mystic writers is where I have found community members who have had such deeper yearnings and have also written about their experience so other pilgrims might peer inside their sojourns. And I have been blessed and fascinated!

Thus far, Teresa of Avila, Saint John of the Cross, Mother Teresa and  Thomas Merton have given me a taste of the depths potentially available on this side of eternity. They have acted as spiritual teachers/mentors and helped more fully open the eyes of my heart. They are helping me by making some spiritual concepts become less obscure and thus more accessible. I so appreciate that they were called to mark their trails by leaving their version of Reese's Pieces along the way!

Someone once said that politics makes strange bedfellows. I have noticed that on some occasions, where I have mentioned  listening to the voice of the teachers mentioned above, there has been push back. It seems the terms mystic and mystical writers are not so universally embraced by those coming from more traditional Christian doctrinal teachings. And while I can understand the need to remain cautious regarding orthodoxy and dogma, I am also challenged by the theme of Jesus, "....that they may all be one. As you Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us...."

And so I press on, seeking not an experience but the Kingdom reality Jesus wishes for me to have on this side of the grave. I know of no other direction more worthy of my focus. And since I can do virtually nothing in my own power to make such deeper dives into Jesus, I am finding the profoundness of what can appear as a mere flannel graph teaching: trust and obey for there is no other way. Surrender and obedience and listening and following are the coins of the realm in which I find myself. Jesus, may you guide me along this path, immerse me in your truth, protect me from lies and galvanize me for the long haul. I believe you have called me into this Jesus. The glass I look through is quite dark. Shine your light and keep me on your path.