Sweet Alignment

When we speak of the twists and turns of life there's hardly anyone who doesn't immediately understand what you mean. We're in this story, there are all these characters, we are one of them, whatever plot seems a bit fractured, elusive, but we press on with the faint belief that someday all will make a bit more sense. And this from a guy who knows the larger story, who knows I have been rescued and who believes I am a beloved son.  Nonetheless, that does not seem to prevent the fog of war from often obliterating any clarity from the details of the daily scenes.

But I come today not to write quite about this...some days are different and yesterday was one of those. A day when all the balls were falling into there respective slots, when the lights all were timed to go green and I got to live in one of those rare hurricane eyes where it just wouldn't go wrong. It's like I don't even know how to handle it.  I shout out my praises to Father, for sure. There is this inner move to look inside to see if perhaps I have somehow tripped across some magical formula...maybe in my reading, maybe in my prayer, my actions.

But alas, no such luck.  It appears to just be an inexplicable day of grace for one who believes that there is more to this life than what we can normally see. Check this out.... the first nine months of 2012 have brought decidedly mixed blessings.  There have been some great missions, some significant movements in church and family life. Yet all of the good has also been set against a backdrop of unparalleled downturn in ability to earn a living.  One of those years where you go from your best year ever to your worst and the whiplash of it all wants to taint every scene of this movie I have been cast in.

So a couple of months ago, a wind came blowing across my plains which at least brought a number of new things to work on.  That is good, but doesn't necessarily translate into income.  Part of my downturn was a sharp decrease in project volume but part of it was also coming from "if it can go wrong it does".  Nonetheless, thankful for things to work on, I did what anyone would do....proceed....limping perhaps....but proceeding.

As time has gone on the projects are maturing and coming nearer that time which would tell whether there was a lady or a tiger behind the door of each. My "chosen" field (I guess I chose it although reflection shows it was more of a default choice than a particularly deliberate one) is a crazy world of bringing this small candle flame, of which you have no real control, through a gauntlet of high speed fans and needing it to still be burning at the end. So, after running through a number of gauntlets, yesterday dawned.

As a backdrop you just have to be playing a scene from Caddyshack....Chevy Chase in a golf match on a day when nothing could go wrong. There he was putting from every conceivable angle with crazy antics and all the balls find their way into the cup. And you have to hear him saying "Na,na, na, na......na,na, na na...."

We come into yesterday with storm clouds everywhere.  Daughter in Haiti, very ill with the child they are seeking to adopt with her and very ill. Two very ripe potential placements with all the signs of fast going south. A smart phone that suddenly decides to die and this for a guy who makes his very living on the phone. And just to totally round things off, a SD ally calls in the middle of the day, in desperation having just had to evacuate his house because of wild fire and a plea for prayer.  Yes it's another day, with more fog, filled with more uncertainty and me, tapping my way along as a sojourner with his white cane (not the picture that a warrior in the King's army likes to necessarily have).

But as the day proceeds boo-freakin-yah!

• Three placements happen! Ka-ching for a drought- filled cash register. Oh most merciful God! 
• A report from Haiti comes in with news that the corner is turned, health has returned and little baby boy once again is squealing with delight.  
• And yes sir, no problema, you had purchased coverage and we will have a new phone over-nighted to you and oh, here is a free loaner in the meantime. 
• A follow up report from SD comes in...thank you for prayer support...a close call but all is now well.  

Folks, I am beside myself...I don't really know how to behave with such lottery-winning days. Best thing I seemed to come up with was to take a walk in the dark and jump and shout out my thanks like a crazy man for anyone watching.

Boy, I wish I could bottle such circumstances up and put them into a pantry so that I had an everlasting see/touch inventory of blessing and provision.  Oh, but he is not a tame lion....I understand.  And oh, this is a war zone I am in...I understand.  The bullets are real not rubber....I understand.  Your Father has your back....I am improving in my understanding.

And as if all of this is not enough.....as I look up I can't help but see another scene.  At night, driving by the airport you can look up and see a long line of headlights spanning way out in the distance of jets in their final approaches for landing.  As the maraschino cherry on yesterday's delicious sundae, I have additional projects that also appear as bright headlights headed their way to Santiago's little landing strip.

Heh, I am headed for my rooftop, for all I can do is shout out my praises in this particular part of the movie! Praise you Father in good times and in bad!!!

An Unexpected Gift

This sojourn as a believer has been such an ever-changing road. There is now enough in the rear-view mirror that I can look back and see the twists and turns and my often poor navigation through them. But now is all we have and there is no point on lamenting on the what-could-have-beens.

So now heh? I am currently burdened by being able to give an elevator speech that captures the point of being a follower of Christ.  This post-modern world has thrown such a smothering blanket of irrelevancy over it all.  I fear most never even have the opportunity to see beyond the merely religious, the broken ways of the average church and the pointlessness of a man who said he was God's son compared to the "thrill" of another season of fantasy football.

If I have an opportunity, I figure I have 2 minutes tops to make the case for "the Way" and why it is still the offer of a lifetime. And so I am developing this hook, this quick talk that gets to the very espresso essence of the message Jesus came to give. For now, I am smitten by the verses in 2 Cor, 2: 17,18. A rough paraphrase follows and provides the core of what will become my quick pitch:  Yaweh came to free us from all bondage, to unveil our faces, to restore our minds.  All so that we might come into all that we were created to be and to reflect the glory that results as he transforms us into his very likeness, one degree at a time.  Whoa!!  Who in the "H. E. double hockey sticks" would not want to step into such an offer?

It's in keeping with this offer and the restorative work underway in my life that I want to speak of today. It is a rare Saturday morning, there is a time block available that gives me the precious breathing room I seem to require when I write.  So many pro writers talk about the pressure of having deadlines.  Yowsa!  That just wouldn't work for this guy who has so much time between posts that I have to look up how to get into my own blog every time I return.

So cowardice....that is a word I hate. Nonetheless, it is something that I have exhibited several times in my life and they have always haunted me.  Above all else, I don't want to be a coward. I so respect the firemen who rushed up the steps of the burning towers to what was their last mission.  That is the complete opposite of cowardice and the poster child for the attitude I want to emulate.  Oh sure, there is the "counting the cost" aspects that are reasonable to entertain at such junctures.  I get that but nonetheless,  please let me error towards action now rather that the paralysis of analysis any day!

It seems I have seen a classic scene in several movies where the guy is on his death bed and says "I have no regrets".  Man, that would be great to be able to honestly say that but it's not my story.  I have stopped beating myself up about them (thank you Jesus!) but I have regrets, I have done things I wished I would have done differently.  And some cowardly scenes are part of my movie. I would love to be able to edit them and see them just laying on the cutting room floor, quivering in their death throws.

And then ever so unpredictably, in my 65th,  'no-longer-a-spring-chicken 'year, many years removed from some cowardly moments, something happened that was such an amazing gift direct from the Father's hand, customized just for me. (Some anonymity needs to be preserved here so please, no names, times or places.)

It was at the end of an adventure, a mission, as a member of a team of men. Someone decided to take a last minute dip in the ol' swimming hole. Kind of odd timing but we all stood and watched. Suddenly the swimmer cried out "I need help".  Really? Is he kidding? But then, seconds later another "I need help". This was not a drill, it was the real deal!!  In my head I heard one word "Go!" and I went. At break neck speed, stripping off my clothes down to my whitey-tightys. Into the frigid water, aware that another was also headed out to the swimmer and would get there first.  A brief thought of "I guess I got undressed for nuthin" (in a Scottish accent).

Then the first rescuer cries out "I can't do this anymore".  He had run out of steam in the high altitude and cold water...a deadly combination. And so I continued and ultimately was able to engage the swimmer and take him back to shore, back to safety,  utilizing the Water Safety Instructor skills learned 45 yrs earlier.  Training, you gotta love it...it does indeed come back when you need it.

Many weeks have now passed and I have asked Father what that was all about.  While I don't know how it figures into the lives of the others involved, I see clearly what was meant for me. You see, I have had these agonizing questions raised by some less-than-brave responses of mine in the past. As men, we are so desperate to know whether we have what it takes.  Father provided this as an unexpected gift, the gift of a test that by his grace I was able to pass...maybe even get a good grade on it!

Oh my gosh....the dividends that this is paying off.  The redemption that it has brought.  The restored confidence that I can (and will) respond in a selfless manner given the transformation that has been going on (and continues) in my life. The wild, wild nature of the Wild Goose in the what and how of his orchestration of this unique event. Stunning to me on every level and I am ever so grateful.....ever so grateful.

Walking with God is not some pablum-filled, namby-pamby deal for the limp-wristed. It is nothing less than a live-ammo, daily walk behind enemy lines.  At any moment we can be called on to redeem what the enemy has meant for evil into what God means for good.  It's like the pilots say, "Hours of boredom and suddenly seconds of terror."  Be ready in season and out has taken on new meaning for me. Father me Jesus, that I might stay ready, cupping the water and bringing it up to my mouth as my eyes search for you amidst the mundane.