It has been interesting to be in this place of waiting to take next steps for our entry into the home church initiative. Presently we are in the midst of a break to allow those having just completed the last series of meetings/classes to sort out whether or not to proceed. Sandi and I have grieved a bit at the loss of momentum that had been established by weekly meetings with our group of 30+ brother and sisters. I confess to some amazement at the closeness I felt in our group as we pondered and discussed the elements involved in doing church differently.
It seems good to continue exploring a couple of things that have come across my radar during this quiet, waiting period. On one hand it seems the height of hubris to write about something that I have yet to embark upon. On the other hand, holding up items to the light and naming them helps me bring greater clarity to this amorphous thing we are calling home church (HC for want of a better name).
Recently I became aware of an attitude/outlook that was somehow attempting to take root during this waiting period. Namely, that I had somehow come to an erroneous assumption in my thinking that HC in and of itself offered some panacea. That is, that the very act of becoming part of a group and contributing to it's launch would somehow bring along with it a fresh dose of transformative elixir. In other words, my decidedly Western orientation (heh, since birth, what can I say) was well on it's way to declaring a quick fix to my desire to be further transformed. As if just starting to meet in a smaller group, with a new format would bring with it an almost magical re-calibration of those bits of me in need of a re-do.
How like the enemy to want to sell the lie that if your simply wrap the present differently it will entirely transform what is inside. As I saw this tendency and how it wanted to grab hold, I was a bit stunned at the eagerness of my hedonistic old man as he sat whimpering in the background, hoping to find a type of "cheap grace" and a road less arduous. Perhaps at times you too have found yourself wanting to believe that by merely attending church on a Sunday automatically produced true progress. Although it may well contribute to the process of transformation, it holds little to no intrinsic value outside of Jesus.
Looking from the outside in, I believe HC is mainly just a different venue, a different crucible that may offer more opportunity for it's participants to work out their salvation among one another with fear and trembling. A venue where each person is expected to bring some type of truth each week. The gathering itself offers no magic in it's smallness other than allowing for a more fuller participation of each of the priests that gather. The real value is what is appropriated in the quiet of each person's walk with the living Christ and subsequently brought to the gathering to share and edify. Just as with a potluck, if no one brings anything to share the time together suffers greatly. The dynamics of not being a hidden, anonymous attendee allow the Holy Spirit all kinds of new, more organic, opportunities to work out our position in Christ among others.
So HC is not magical in and of itself...it mainly offers a different format with the heightened expectations that are possible, even achievable in a smaller group of like-minded ones. I mean anybody can go out and buy a pro-jersey and sport it about town but that doesn't make one a pro. It's the work (and talent in the case of the pro athlete) that goes on behind the scenes that causes the person underneath the jersey to function as a pro. The small gathering we are calling HC allows for but does not all by itself produce life changes
On a somewhat separate note, I feel some excitement in the background of my life, just outside my cognitive reach, apparently caused by the very recent entry and awareness of the Anabaptist tradition. As I have begun to study this historical stance on imitating Jesus, I have sensed early signs of a possible "homecoming". And the convergence of this with the upcoming launch of HC carries tantalizing appeal.
The adult believer vs infant baptism is an obvious plank of this homecoming platform which I have believed in throughout my walk with Jesus. But there are other avenues that are typical elements of the Anabaptist tradition that are both encouraging and that may well scratch some long-standing itches. The whole aspect of community is one in particular that I both resist and desire. So far, my experiences have been involved in small breakout groups from the large gathering that, to date, have been experienced as less than genuine. But to make the small group the actual core of the community provides entirely new possibilities for an authentic experience of doing life together
The Anabaptist emphasis on mission also converges nicely with the small, organic nature of the HC. Additionally, the values of simplicity, stepping away from Christendom, robust discipleship, a focus toward social justice and activism, combine to present a position warranting further consideration. What is particularly encouraging is that the Anabaptist elements are part of a tradition not necessarily a denomination. This conveniently allows for a HC to explore such Anabaptist dimensions without having to conform to or jettison any particular denominational affiliations thus keeping present alliances intact.
Heh, I am so aware of seeing through a glass darkly regarding these things. I fully expect to read all of this in 3 or 4 years and be embarrassed at the naivety or overly simplistic inferences. Nevertheless, it is good to pause and say that it looks and appears that Father is guiding our household into turning a new bend in the river as He guides us along further up and into His Kingdom. And to that, I say Glory!!
Monday, June 11, 2012
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