Some dreams just seem to die...

Attended a Zoom Camino meeting yesterday. I entered with a secret hope that just maybe someone more experienced than I could see how my vision to go on a long walk with Jesus across northern Spain may have a way of staying alive. I could draw this blog to a quick close by just injecting at this point "no such luck amigo".

I had already done much of my grieving earlier. Some physical injuries began my questioning and then the reality of the depth of the pandemic painted a rather obvious picture which was not going to accommodate a Sept departure to Madrid. My Kestrel, with price tags still hanging from it, sits quivering on the love seat in my inner sanctum. Inside is all the gear I needed: smart wool tshirt, light synthetic down blanket, international electric converter plug....trust me, it's all there. The round trip flight is booked and paid for, the first 3 critical night's accommodations are reserved and paid for. Travel insurance in place? Yep, got it. There was nothing left to do but physically train and wait for the calendar page to say the right day and number and bam!....on my way to what looked like it just may be the adventure of my life.

At this point I'm not exactly sure why I came here today.  Don't feel like philosophizing on the whole psychology of disappointment, grieving loss and other boo-hoo, poor-little-me items.  Let's face it, my life has been and will continue to be shaken from time to time, I will have difficulties, Jesus promised it. But he also overcame the falleness of the world and offers himself and his ways to me on a daily basis, if only I am smart enough to drink mightily from his cup.

I suppose the knife twist that is most painful is that my daughter Jess was going to join me on the last 25% of the trek. We both imagined a "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity to rendezvous for what promised to be an epic chapter in our story. Wow! Writing this just now makes me royally pissed off at the thievery that is undoubtedly at least part of this. My adversary continues to steal, kill and destroy and the apparent death of these plans has his hoof prints all over it. And so I know now that I am being called to resist and fight and look to my Redeemer to bring his restoration strategies to bear over these plans (which were as much a calling as just a vision....it is an invitation from the King of Kings!)

And so I do, I submit myself afresh to you God. I honor you as Lord and declare you the author and provider of my life. I know that I know that these were as much your plans as mine. And so I resist my enemy and this robbery that is underway even now. I bring the full authority of Christ, his cross, resurrection and his ascension against every strategy set against Jess and me and I bind, blind and gag the authors of such strategies and banish them from my domain. I throw our plans into your hands Jesus and ask for your redemptive restoration and your solutions for these interruptions. I continue to believe that this was and still is an invitation. Although I can not see how it can work out from my current vantage point, I trust in your love and compassion to bring your alternative to fruition. I believe you Jesus.  I trust you Jesus. You are the only game in town and at the end of the day you and not a trip is what I worship. Come Lord Jesus...reign over these details as you hovered over the dark waters in the beginning. Bring the rubble of demolished plans into your new order and give me eyes to see what you have to say and whatever role you may have me to play.

I worship you Jesus! Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father!!