Standing in the gap

Awakened at 1:18AM this morning....do the usual checking....Who is behind this?...friend or foe? Oh, it's you Lord. What is this about? Go through family members one at a time, no, check in with my heart, no, not about me. Ah, it's RH..... And I proceed to intercede for this ministry, different aspects of it, situations that I am aware of and that come to mind. Overall, it feels like an incredibly large, blob-type of darkness that is attempting to ooze it's way in and I find myself turning my back to it all in prayer to resist it, lean into it and generally prevent "it"entrance. This goes on until about 2:30 AM. Were my efforts victorious? Sure didn't feel that way....felt more like putting a finger in the dike in an effort to hold back the entire sea. But regardless, it's one more experience of this ministry of intercession that it seems I've been called to.
So strange for me to say this....called to intercession. I mean for me, in my walk with God over these 30 some years, I must confess I mostly thought of intercessors as the proverbial little old lady shut-in who could do nothing else so she prayed. Mea culpa, mea culpa!
I guess I started to get involved in prayer as part of the altar prayer team over at NH about 10 or so years ago. Why? I think it goes something like this....In a perfect world, if I could just snap my fingers and be anything I wanted to be, I would want to be an ER Dr. at a large trauma center. (I used to say a professional hockey player but evidently my dwindling testosterone levels have kicked that little vision to the curb.)
There's just something about triage type work that makes me come alive! I love the clutch play at home plate, live for it, even dream about it. (And as an old catcher, I so enjoyed having those experiences.) Chronic stuff leaves me limp, sucks the life right out of me..... No, give me the adrenaline pounding job of the STAT types of decisions, the immediate need for action now. Having taken the Strengthfinder, I see that as a classic example of one of my top 3....ACTIVATOR.
Anyhow, when it came time for me to step out into more ministry, when enough of my gaping wounds were healed sufficiently that I felt like perhaps I could move out again, I was attracted to those who prayed for others after the service. Here was a church version of the ER, and you didn't have to go to a cajillion years of school before qualifying. No, just the opposite. My position as one redeemed by the death of Jesus on my behalf gave me the most important certificate in the Kingdom of God...I was blood bought and no longer called myself lord of my life but had given myself into the hands of He who had loved me and pursued me from the beginning. That and a few weeks of training and I was an altar minister. Voila!
Since then, the plot has thickened as they say. Further opportunities outside church have come into play. I have been invited in as a part of a team of 14 who cover a national ministry including on site intercession out in Colorado for events drawing 400 men at a time. And there has been local events and on site opportunities with a similar ministry dedicated to freeing and enlivening the hearts of men for the advancement of the Kingdom. And even at church, now WH, there has been opportunity to branch out from the altar praying into leading intercessory teams for each aspect of the service itself as well as becoming part of the prayer leadership team. And up ahead, there is no end in sight with additional possibilities starting to make themselves known.
I list all this just to self reflect on how all this has expanded for me....again, it seems so unlikely that someone such as me would end up as an intercessor! I guess you would just have to know me like I do to understand the confounding swirl that reflecting on this puts me into.
But let me just say I am thankful, so thankful. Thankful that after giving my life to Christ in 1975, (May 19, dock, Lake Harriet, 2:30AM), after starting so strong at CC, getting married, having two most beautiful, darling, good-hearted daughters and then crashing in 1988, seeing it all obliterated on the shores of separation (1990) and ultimately divorce (1992), and then the long, dry sojourn through 7 or 8 years of personal desert....(attention, attention, this is your personal editor....please bring this sentence to a close as it is getting too long, thank you.).
That little piece of comic relief was needed....reflecting on the pain involved in the above has never ceased to be bad and I'm wondering now if that is just how it will always be?
But then, around 2000, being introduced to Sandi (Jesus, thank you with all my might for bringing her into my life. I do not deserve her and I realize that our union is a living, breathing example of your grace in action.) Getting involved with WH, going out to Bootcamp, launching into a blended family, having my heart come back alive again! And then desiring to take my place on the line and joining in with the worldwide effort to advance the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven. And God responds, gives me ministry tasks, gives me some positions to gain, maintain and advance. Love so amazing , so divine! Praise to you my Lord of Hosts!
Man, I'm at this moment lost in the revelry of the joy that has been put in my heart. That coupled with the lack of sleep seems to be bringing this post to an end. I am reminded that my last blog dealt with pessimism vs optimism, and then I spoke about running....you gotta love the juxtaposition of it all. This 500' Flyby is starting to take a form that I like. No particular linear organization to subject matter, permission to ramble, jump easily between the sacred and the secular (it all is starting to feel sacred to me).
As Paul said, "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ"
And so, with all synapses trashed albeit with a thin veneer of caffeine, I drift into something called Thursday.
Advance Santiago.....