And now, a grand interruption.....

So pandemic is now the water we all find ourselves swimming in. My felt need has been to wrestle with the reality and the hugeness of what has been released upon the earth. That it has given my focus on pressing into a deeper intimacy with Jesus a sharp uppercut is putting it mildly.  I have found myself somewhat obsessed in collecting all the facts in a futile effort to get my arms around what defies one getting their arms around. And so I come here to thrash around with words in an effort to exorcise and exercise the effects of living within the opening acts of this Fellini-esque film in which we have all been cast.

I confess to feeling a bit excited at the leveling affect this is having upon culture. Suddenly the 'haves' and the 'have nots' are equally impacted by the submicroscopic critters that tsunami their way across the globe. Selfie sticks are in no way in demand as their is nowhere to go and be seen. The vapid hubris of youth and the cult of celebrity have been dealt a huge dose of an alternative reality. The apparent solidity of a materialistic world is no longer offering coupons. The illusions are being scrubbed. If culture is an Etch-A-Sketch, it finds itself turned over and shaken. Might this just be the start of a refocus for mankind?

Writing that paragraph felt somewhat cathartic but still insufficient. I am observing from no personal,  moral high ground. My position is as a believer in the saving grace of Jesus who did not count equality with God as something to hold tightly. Instead he emptied himself and took on the form of a servant and in the likeness of mankind, he was born in a manger amidst straw and cows and poop. He went on into a life of humility and at the age of 33 he was obedient to the Father's direction which led him to be crucified upon a Roman torture device, the cross. He died as an innocent, living sacrifice which represented a cosmic transaction that made it possible for me to be ransomed from my fallenness. To become a new man in Christ, to join him as an eternal member of his family in his invitation to co-reign with him in his plans for forever.

Well that sounds swell Mr Santiago.... So now what. Well, for me it is time to refocus on what I feel called to....a deeper intimacy of my branch to his Vine. To move ever closer to joining the Triune dance. To give myself over more fully to the surgical, inside-out transformation of my body, soul and spirit into what the Potter has in mind for me. Silence, solitude, prayer and an ongoing posture of listening always for his still, small voice. To trusting and obeying what I hear. To risking radicalness.
To understanding that time being short is no longer a mere concept.

Father, help me be other-focused in this time when self-preservation seems the only worldly thing that makes sense. Open my ears to whatever you have for me as marching orders. Open my eyes to the ways of the kingdom as I navigate the waters of husband, father, grandfather and friend. Protect me from getting lost in the cacophony of the screens and airwaves. Give me your courage when the bus pulls in. Thank you for the invitation into profound humility....help me to dwell there without complaint. Lord, fix my eyes upon you!

A cosmic 'Pause' button is pushed!

Sitting at home on a Friday with time and a desire to write. Trouble is, nothing is tugging on me to write about. Not that the world isn't at least interesting right now if not terrifying. We sit in the midst of a pandemic of Covid 19 and are in the acceleration phase here in the US. Everything is shutting down, cruises, pro sports, Disneyland, churches, there is no toilet paper to be had and social distancing is the strategy of the day.  The stock market is down by 30% give or take and there is virtually no segment of the populace that feels untouched by what is happening.

As for our domain, we have pulled back in what seems a prudent effort to lessen exposure to the unseen viral aliens that have descended upon mankind.  Have put a hold on Weds volunteering at the mission and Regions, have cancelled going to Camino shell ceremony, have informed house church that until further notice we will not be attending HC or core. Life is in no way going forward as normal for A-N-Y-B-O-D-Y.

So when I say nothing to write about it seems a little strange in some ways.  There is a lot of substantive things going on. Yet what is there to write about without having any perspective, a philosophical take on it all, a lucid grasp of a wise course to take or position to hold? And "Yes" I know that I am a citizen of another Kingdom. For that I rejoice to be sure! But at the moment, that alternative citizenship is not affecting my mind or emotions in the ways one might expect or at least hope.  I feel flat and unable to grasp the enormity of what I see happening every day. That this is at the very least a peek into and a sniff of what apocalyptic times might be like seems certain.

Some brothers are holding a Zoom prayer time today at 4PM. I think I should avail myself at joining in and at least be in motion toward light rather than just drifting along in the numbing sea. Feels like it's a good time to remember that not everything works best on solo missions. In fact, that seems to be a recurrent theme in my readings and taps on the shoulder from Father. Namely, my propensity toward individualism as opposed to teaming up.  Help me here Lord....

Pressing in....pressing in feels right. To run toward the flames and not away. To engage the battle and not to tunnel in.  Ok, if that is right where do I go from here Lord? How do I become part of your solution and not part of the problem? Do I shirk the reduction of exposure? I submit myself to you Father afresh. Open my eyes to what you would have me do, think, enforce and pursue.  This is all not about me, you are the hero of this story and I belong to you!  I put myself at your service Jesus.........