Early-ish November and the Christmas tree is already up and decorated! Why so early one might ask? Covid lockdowns, 2020 chaos, diminished options, life re-focused on the home-front, it was a warm day and we wouldn't freeze working out on the porch. That kind of thing....
At least I am not lighting it at night quite yet. Don't want to get the neighbors all agitated about seeing some eager-beavers who may be accused of jumping the gun. Still, it's good to have that done and for Sandi being done doing her specialty....putting on the lights in a masterful way. Trouble is, she hates doing it and a pre-lit tree has been in the on-deck-to-be-purchased circle for years.
So, our little, artificial tree. Gazing at this compact gem out on our porch, behind glass, makes it seem like it is ensconced in a perfect jewel box. We put on the ornaments together this year. I guess we usually do. My box is marked Colaizy and hers is marked Flegle. Ornaments representing two individuals, two prior families, two complete histories, lots of stories and plenty of heartache and disappointment mixed in. Oh the emotions, the ache, the bitter sweetness and the quiet joy that is evoked as I stare at this tree.....
Sandi puts "her" ornaments on the left side of the tree. They are very nice and they commemorate many years of Christmases past with her husband and three children. I know they represent all kinds of memories for her. That is only normal and natural but still there is a kind of mysterious, haunting feel to me as I look at them. They stand for chapters of her life before I ever knew her. Life details which, even if attempted to be explained, will never be fully known by me.
My side is on the right. Every year I put them up I am taken to a place that is a wild mixture of warmth combined with heartache, nostalgia and a sort of a declaration...."Well, here I am!" "My" ornaments come from the period of time when, after being divorced and finally setting up shop as a single dad, I had the need for a tree and something to hang on it. My mom and dad kindly gave me an old bottle-brush tree. They also graced me with a hodgepodge of ornaments that had once hung on the Colaizy family tree but were now relegated to obsolete retirement. Some of them are ancient looking, sort of faded and over a 100 years old. Others are just plain dumb....like the little M&M dancing candy guy. As if he has anything to do with Christmas! There's the rather large, red, wooden cardinal. That one needs a sturdy branch...its heavy. There are an assortment of straw and light wooden ornaments in cool shapes and a couple of miniature creches.
At the top of the tree is a little, pale brown, fabric angel that perilously perches on the top, aided only by being rather unceremoniously impaled by a branch. Still, it's one of my favorites with her utter humility and apparent bravery in her role as sentinel over all of the holiday festivities. But my favorite of all, oh my, my very favorite is the "miracle ornament".
It consists of two parts: a reindeer with reins leading back to a red and green sleigh carrying Santa and many gifts sticking out. And that is not all ginzu knife lovers...... There are little tiny lights along the reins and, when you activate the switch on the back of the sleigh, a fast-paced version of jingle bells plays and the few remaining lights that work blink. So? "Yeh, it sounds cute and all but why the miracle label?" I am glad you asked.....
I have had "my" ornaments now since 1992. That is 28 years....28 years of annual storage in a wide-variety of places in my many moves. Years in garage attics where summer temps climb into astronomical numbers only to be followed by months of mind-numbing, subzero onslaughts Much moving, jostling, dust, moths, ants, cobwebs, boxing and unboxing. Every year my girls and I have a bit of a ritual. After I have decorated the tree and my now grown daughters come over during Christmas, we go to the tree with bated breath and switch on the little black switch. And each year, without exception, Santa and his sleigh perform their song and light show. And the miracle? Whatever battery is fueling this little gem has never been replaced, even looked at!.....28 years without a hitch!
Yep, that's our tree. A co-mingling of stories from the past, some known, many never to be known. With little hanging testimonies that serve to remind me of a life lost, then regained, with a new life partner and additional family members. And all of the complex stories of our blended family continue with new chapters being written and performed. And the tree? Oh gosh, that little humble tree. For two months of the year, it comes out to quietly testify of what preceded our present day. It depicts such a potent mixture of grace, rescue, mystery, pain, hope for a future and lots of love.... all represented in these little hanging fixtures. Thank you for loving us Father!
