Ever since Covid collapsed my Camino trip of 2020, I have pondered taking another stab at it. What would be the biggest adventure of my life wasn't something I was willing to easily let go of. Thus, since I was experiencing left foot issues (which would most likely have interrupted my 2020 plans even without the arrival of Covid), I sought out medical intervention. Several things were diagnosed including a tear in my plantar plate at the base of my second toe, a bunion and a second toe that was longer than my big toe which would exacerbate the possibilities of future plantar tears.
So I opted for the recommended surgery to correct all of these things in one surgery with four different entrance points on my left foot. That was at the end of March, 2022. Today, nine months later, I am substantially healed and am walking forty-five to fifty miles per week. My foot is still not one hundred percent. It definitely gets sore after each walk but it is manageable and still getting better. My doctor has assured me that it is unlikely that I will undo any of her work on my foot. And so I press on, listening to my body and trying not to be obsessively foolish regarding weekly mileage.
I have struggled a bit in arriving at these decision points. I have been intentional in looking for what my 'Why' is for undertaking this journey. What is my motivation? Is this just another accomplishment notch for my life belt? A now old man's last lunge at validating himself? None of these would play well with me and would only result in an ugly mental video as I stared at the ceiling of a future old folks home.
This last September found me spending three nights of silent retreat at Pacem in Teris. It was a glorious time of feeling very close to the Trinity. Among other things, I reviewed what initially led me to go to Spain two plus years ago. I had experienced a 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' type of tug while watching the movie 'The Way'. But after having to abort the mission in 2020 and, as the months passed by, this sense dissipated. My life became like everyone else's....months of quarantines, masks and hand sanitizer everywhere. And then Sandi had a heart attack and there were months of working through diagnoses, prognoses and the fear of losing my mate. Meanwhile, the sands of my life's hourglass just kept filling the bottom half which only clouded my considerations for something as substantial as the Camino.
Pacem was such an amazing time of beauty and intimacy with God. Discussing the Camino in His presence was a highlight. I came away hearing that the Camino was never just my idea. In fact, Abba was the author of this idea for me. I left Pacem believing that I didn't just have the Lord's green light to go on my Camino... I now received it as a definite call upon my life. It was no longer merely something I wanted to do for which I was seeking Kingdom permission. Instead, it was now more a matter of obedience. It was giving my 'Yes' to something Jesus was inviting me up and into. That, of course, is a horse of an entirely different color!
Upon returning, I met with my Camino mentor, Jim McCaffrey, to refresh our relationship and discuss preliminary details. Over the next weeks I wondered about waiting to book the trip in order to further monitor the likelihood of actually being able to go this time. Pandemics are not at all off the table of consideration as Covid, RSV and flu continue to spread. And global war, even of the nuclear variety, is not outside the reasonable realm of possibility. Sandi's health and my health are two more factors that could change the outlook on a moment's notice. All of this caused me to delay a bit in pulling the trigger.
Heh, just because I am believing that there is a Camino call in my life in no way guarantees that it will happen. Yet I seek to serve at the will of my Father. Ultimately, if I am to take this sense of Camino call seriously, there is no reason for a 'wait and see" delay. So I have made the $1400 dollar bet and booked the round trip. My 2023 Camino attempt is scheduled for an August 22 departure and returning October 7. I have booked the airfare, bought the trip insurance and a line has been drawn in the sand....
Feliz Navidad Santiago!
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