So it's Superbowl Sunday, I stop watching the game, come down to the computer and, despite my Luddite nature, I sit down and figure out how to create a blog. So strange how things so often work out. (I guess it's obvious I'm not much of a pro-sports fan) Less than 2 years ago I didn't really know what a blog was. And now I sit here wondering in my head about my motivations for doing this. It feels a bit presumptuous (as if I really have something to say) a bit like grandstanding "Hey everybody, look at me, read me". But I have given it some thought and I launch this ...
1.To exercise writing, to make an effort to nail thoughts/observations using the written word.
2. To get stuff 'up and out'....to express and to see what I feel, to get to know me better, to thrash out things that only vaguely make themselves known in my head and that only occasionally.
3.To make an effort at being transparent, a quality I often hear myself saying I value and yet it remains elusive.
4. To understand myself...possibly to be understood better by others.
So, only a couple of hundred words into this and I've discovered something I believe will be important for me as a type of Ground Rule (sure don't want to end up with many of those!). I want to write as an end in itself, not with any type of audience in mind. Although I have no reason to believe anyone will even be able to find this, it feels important not to be wanting to be liked, thought clever, appreciated or any other such performance-oriented thing. This should just be for me, let the chips fall where they may, with no thought given to whether or not I might be resonating with anyone else. I think (hope) that outlook might help make this blogging escapade more presumption-proof and free of endless editing with other readers in mind.
Still, it's interesting to note...then why not just journal?.....(I do).....why a publicly available blog?
The picture that comes to mind with this question is one of those giant antennae dishes that beam messages to outer space just in case there is someone actually out there and to see what happens if they pick up the signal. So yes, it does lend a sort of background excitement to blog. Who knows, perhaps I will meet some like-minded friends, maybe experience some heckling, perhaps Thomas Nelson will call with a contract..... I like that unknown aspect of this deal.
So, I have popped the cork and I'm off, 500'Flyby is launched. Just above the treetops, moving quite fast, no time to dwell in painful detail on any one thing, just bits and pieces, soundbites really. If I need to dwell longer I'll just get a helicopter instead of a fixed-wing and hover.
So long for now....
Can't miss House!
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5 comments:
i cannot wait to curl up with a cup of coffee or glass of wine (you know, depends if it's before or after noon) and catch up on all the mystery behind what you've been blogging about here for the past month or so...i embrace your ground rules and as you know i consider them wonderful guidelines.
a question before i really dig in...
so are ya feelin' it? huh? huh? that blogger's remorse. wondering? waiting? eek. this too shall pass. then you'll feel it again and again. but all those motivations you mentioned, yeah, not a good strategy for getting life.
But you Mr. Colaizy you are a man full of LIFE and I welcome you and your words with open arms and an open mind ... I consider it an honor to get to serve in His Kingdom with you!
can i alert the media?
luv ya!
p.s. Rob has echoed these same sentiments. I'm sure you'll be hearing from him eventually.... already but not yet...that's his blogmotto.
now that you've come out of the closet, drop a comment or i'll think you don't like me or something ;)
Di,
Thanks for entering my blog with such order, scrolling down to the beginning of it's short history and catching my opening gambit. At this moment, you are the only human being on this earth who knows my address. But sure, do with it as you please. It is no longer solely mine but is a potentially semi-public forum.
By the way, you and your blog was what put me over the edge...there was a prior series of tugs to write something somewhere, Greg's blog, then Terri's came on my radar then when yours did I reached some kind of internal tipping point. So, it's only right that you know first...(frankly I don't have anyone else on my alert the media list at the moment)
And yes, the remorse-o-meter is in the yellow zone right now with red in sight....Hoppy
Well, Hoppy. You've been outed. I too love your ground rules - there is no point writing for 'others' in order for them to get to know you - the irony of that is obvious.
more to come...
marcell
No remorse Colaizy! I love what you wrote! I can resonate my friend. You just have bigger.....than I do. I can't wait to read what you write to yourself, and just maybe I need to go watch House?
Pentimento and Rob....thanks for your neighborly welcome and affirming words. Although I have yet to work through my blogging angst(maybe I never will?) having a private blog was an oxymoron that ceased holding water for me....and so spalooosh!
Coxxxxx (wouldn't want anyone to know my last name....shhh!)
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